Billy Evans has sent in a great piece of poetry about his electrician.
THE ELECTRIC, MAN!
PERCY PARKER IN CASUAL TROUSERS
HE'S GOT A THING ABOUT ELECTRIC JULES
ALL THAT BUSINESS WITH WIRES AND FUSES
AND IF YOU ASK HIM NICELY
HE'LL COME AND CHANGE YER BULBS.
Copyright Billy Evans 2001
Here's another offering from Arcadia Flynn of Funnypoets.com. As previously mentioned, you can access Arcadia's excellent site via the links page. This poem should be sung (loudly) to the tune of "Guantanamera", more commonly recognised in my part of the world as the tune to "Sing When You're Winning".
A Seedy Love Story
I'm going to tell you a story
That's neither gruesome nor gory
About a boy in the farmland
He was but a simple farmhand
He gazed into the sky blue above
And dreamed of meeting his true love
Chorus:
He wanted to meet her
Oh how he wanted to meet her
Wanted to meet her
Oh how he wanted to meet her
He'd seen her only from behind
While standing in the check-out line
Her hair was long fine and golden
Her beauty had him beholden
She smelt of oils exotic
It made her seem so erotic
Chorus:
He wanted to meet her
Oh how he wanted to meet her
Wanted to meet her
Oh how he wanted to meet her
He knew if he could impress her
Then may he could undress her
Because he was a great farmer
He knew just how to charm her
He'd grow a special surprise for her
Then she'd know that he adored her
Chorus:
He grew a one tonne tomato
He grew a one tonne tomato
One tonne tomato
He grew a one tonne tomato
Then he bribed the local mailman
Who went and showed him her mailcan
He waited till the dead of night
Then drove to her house on his plight
He put the tomato on her porch above
The note attached told of his true love
Chorus:
He left his one tonne tomato
He left his one tonne tomato
One tonne tomato
He left his one tonne tomato
Well it's been over a year now
And still the laugher you hear now
As folks recall all the drama
Of the young girl and the farmer
And of what happened the next week
When the tomato began to leak
Chorus:
It was a one tonne tomato
It was a one tonne tomato
One tonne tomato
It was a one tonne tomato
She'd been away on holiday
And come back home on that Sunday
To find her home grown all over
The farmer's note said he loved her
She was amazed how he'd figured it
That big tomatoes were her favourite
Chorus:
Of course she wanted to meet him
Oh yes she wanted to meet him
Wanted to meet him
Oh yes she wanted to meet him
They fell in love, then they married
A tomato bouquet she carried
Tomatoes cooked to perfection
Were served up at the reception
As they drove off they were showered
...Not with tomatoes but flowers!
Chorus:
Oh how they loved their tomatoes
They fell in love with tomatoes
They loved their tomatoes
And their love grows like tomatoes
And again:
One tonne tomato
He grew a one tonne tomato
One tonne tomato
He grew a one tonne tomato
Copyright; Arcadia Flynn
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